Oblivion
by Anali-dreams
Summary: Set between Tokyo and Infinity. Not another world, just before the story picks up again. Fai wants to forget, but the walls have already begun to crack, and all he can do is try to stop the flow.


Not mine. Sorry.

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Inside the club, dance music blared, drowning out any possibility of talk. As if any of them would want to talk. The floor was a mass of bodies, all seething in movement. The harsh, penetrating beat shook the very air with its force, and those around it moved to the will of the dance.

On one edge of the floor, a teenage boy danced. He was right on the edge of the crowd, never quite one with them, but not quite separate either. Not far away, a girl danced, and the boy watched her constantly. She seemed to avoid even glancing in his direction, as if the concern in his gaze unnerved her. They were a part of the music, but at the same time, they existed in their own separate little world, a world of pain and tragedy.

In the very heart of the mass of dancers was the third member of the group. A tall, thin, blond man, he could have easily stood out from the crowd. As it was, he blended in, unnoticed by any of those around him. He did not have a separate world to exist in, he was almost painfully in the here and now, not looking forward or back.

He did not wish to remember, nor did he dare to hope. He focused solely on dancing, the steady, mind numbing beat of the music, and the people who moved around him. Anything else was forgotten. He just danced, not thinking at all. Blank, empty spaces filled his mind, covering up the pain and loss that was there before.

He didn't see what was around him, past the dancers and in the shadows. Another man stood there, watching the dancer and the two teens with wary eyes. Dressed in all black, he blended in with the darkness, just watching, not moving or dancing himself. His eyes should have been on the princess, but they kept being drawn back to the man dancing in the middle, never leaving him for long.

The blonde's single eye was closed, blocking the sight, just listening. This was the easiest way to forget, to cover everything up and pretend it never happened. It was one of the best he found so far. When he focused on the music, he could pretend he was normal, that he had two eyes, that he wanted to live, that he was still human. Time passed and he wouldn't even know, and somehow, he would have made it through another few hours in this wretched life that he was forced to live.

Song after song played, and he retreated farther and farther into his mind, into the area where no memories were hidden, no secrets lay kept locked away. He hadn't taken a breather for hours, not wanting to break the spell of forgetting. Everything was a blur, and slowly, it all faded to black.

When his senses returned, he was being carried in someone's arms- a very familiar set of arms. He tried to move, fully intending to get up and walk on his own, but the arms tightened, and a voice above him said, "Don't. You're too tired. Just go back to sleep."

It was so tempting to just do hat he was told, but he knew that he shouldn't; that he should hate that voice, for a reason that he had been trying to forget. With a sigh, he allowed the spell to break, and all the memories came flooding back. He grit his teeth and forced himself to not think about anything but now.

"Where are Sakura-chan and Syaoran-kun?" He asked Kurogane. "You're supposed to be protecting them." His words were intended to hurt, but the taller man shrugged it off; he was used to comments like that from Fai.

"I sent the princess home with the kid hours ago. It's nearly four in the morning, mage."

"That late?" Fai murmured, mostly to himself.

"Yes, that late. Just when were you planning on stopping? I had to come and drag you out." There was silence from both men. Kurogane walked swiftly through the back alleys to the place where they were staying. The echoes of the beat on the dance floor still reverberated in Fai's mind, keeping him from returning to sleep, and forgetting.

Kurogane cursed inwardly, the mage was so damn stubborn. And stupid. He was beginning to see what Tomoyo had meant by true strength, and he didn't like it at all. Admitting he had learned it would mean admitting that he had been a lot weaker than he thought his entire life, and that those he had sworn to protect were in more danger. Somehow on their journey, those he protected had expanded to include all the other members of their little group, even- no especially- the mage. He wasn't going to let the idiot die, no matter what he had to do to save him.

Kurogane's thoughts had taken him right to the door of their apartment, but neither man had noticed. He wasn't sure what had prompted him to protect the mage, but that same force was urging him on, to not let the man die, no matter how badly he wanted to. It was almost a compulsion, a need to keep this person, who had so many secrets, who very nearly embodied the people he despised, safe. Whatever it was, he didn't argue with it, just sheltered the man from danger and pulled him back from death.

Fai stirred in his arms, and this time Kurogane let him stand on his own. The mage walked unsteadily to the door, opening it with shaky hands. As he crossed the threshold, he tripped, but before Kurogane could move to catch him, he stopped his fall and straightened, walking quickly away.

_Is this how it will always be?_ Kurogane wondered, watching the retreating figure of the mage. _I will always be there, protecting him, and he will always be pushing me away, wishing for death? _He shrugged, turning towards the door to his own room. He entered the room and shut the door behind him with a definite click.

Fai leaned against the door to his room, listening to Kurogane move around in the room next to his, getting ready for sleep. He hated the ninja, he truly despised him for what Kurogane had forced him to become. But at the same time, he couldn't hate him. The ninja was the only one who ever noticed the lies, the façade. It was his fault, he had let the other man get to close, he had crossed his own carefully made lines. But if there was no one there to remind him he was lying, then he might forget his purpose, and become truly happy. He couldn't be happy, ever, because he wasn't supposed to live. Fai was supposed to live, Fai was the one who could be happy.

So they would continue to be, until Ashura woke, and everything fell apart. Then he would leave, and he could finally die. Until then, he wanted to forget, never remember the reasons he had run, the twin who should have lived, the boy without a heart, the blood that coursed so sweet down his throat. Oblivion was all he wanted, and sooner or later, he would find it.

* * *

This is what happens when I go to prom and get shoved out on the dance floor by about ten of my friends. Thanks, girls. You're too kind. Anyway, please, please, please tell me what you think!!


End file.
